This post is part of a 5-part series that I lovingly called my “Getting my Sh*t Together Series” where I dive into the 5 areas of my life that have helped me establish the foundation of my life outside of work so that I can focus on going above and beyond in my day job and passion projects. Check out the intro here, and sign up for emails to know when the next deep-dive posts are live.
When it comes to knowing what’s best for me, I have a handful of principles to share: define your own fun, develop a gratitude practice, define core values, and realize that no one can make your best decision. This got lengthy, so I made it a mini-series.
Part 4: Make Your Own Best Decision
The final piece of knowing what’s best for me is related to the idea that no one knows what they’re doing but with a very targeted view: when it comes to making a big decision, no one can tell you what the right decision is.
When it came time to end my serious relationship, I asked everyone I trusted what I should do, and they all gave me different answers. I was frustrated that no one could agree, and just tell me what to do. That’s when I realized that only I had been in the relationship, only I knew what I was feeling, only I knew what I wanted my future to look like and whether or not this other person fit into it. It was my decision to make, and frankly, I was the only person nearly qualified to make it. Others could give me advice or guidance, but everyone’s perspective was shaped by their own experiences. No one had lived my experience. That was up to me.
The other time I realized this was when I was asking others for career advice; it reminded me of the time when I secretly put something on my wish list for Santa because he’s magical and can read the minds & hearts of little girls at Christmas. You can imagine how it turned out when there was no surprise gift waiting for me on Christmas morning, direct from Santa.
Back to career stuff — I kept waiting on people to read my mind on what I wanted to do and proactively support me on it before I ever had to say anything. My thinking was that if it was really what I should do, then they would just see it in me. Like in the movies, when the guide plucks out the exceptional pupil for all their ~potential~ greatness. I felt like those around me were supporting me in the path I was on because they believed it was the right path for me, but in reality, they were happy to support me as soon as I said I wanted something different.
People can’t read your mind, and they don’t know your heart. You are the only person who can make the right decision for yourself. Trust yourself.
For more on this, and more on a lot of goodness, please read Untamed by Glennon Doyle. It is fantastic.